Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

In this world, when we have been wronged, we are encouraged to cancel someone, or fight back. To get even. To let everyone know what has happened.

Occasionally dreadful things do happen and I am not downplaying this. I am not recommending you put yourself in harms way.

However, when we see ourselves as a victim, whether knowingly or not, we surround ourselves with people who support our view. We ignore or avoid anyone who might suggest reconciliation or an alternative perspective. We end up in a thought bubble of our own making, where we see the other as irredeemable, and we lash out at anyone who suggests anything to the contrary.

We want others to agree with us and we persecute the other party. We dwell on what has occurred and every time we describe what happened we pour fuel on the fire of our anguish and pain. If cultivated, anguish turns to anger which smoulders and burns. In time anger twists into hatred and hatred into bitterness. The desire to exact vengeance and see the other suffer rises and greater destruction can ensue.

Paul wrote:

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,  and give no opportunity to the devil. [and] Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:26-27 & 31-32 (ESV)

Even the world knows letting go of resentment and grudges leads to:

Healthier relationships.
Improved mental health.
Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
Fewer symptoms of depression.
Lower blood pressure.
A stronger immune system.
Improved heart health.
Improved self-esteem.

Mayo Clinic

When we believe the lie that we are victims and give up our right as Christians to live victoriously, we make ourselves vulnerable. We open a door to the forces of darkness, and they will walk in, take up residence and ravage our lives.

If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)

We have free will. We have a choice in how we respond to what happens to us. If we choose unforgiveness and vengeance we put ourselves on a difficult path. The fruits of which are rotten and decaying. We must remember we are not judge, jury and executioner. Do we align ourselves with Jesus who told us to love one another as he has loved us and to forgive? Or do we fall prey to the enemy and end up slaves to a master who will torment us and destroy us?

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Romans 12:19 (NLT)

My hope for you is freedom, liberty, light and life. Do not chain yourself to vengeance and wrath. If you are struggling with this, consider speaking to your pastor, consulting the bible and seeking help from a professional.

I hope you have enjoyed this blog. I’d love to hear from you. If you’d like to comment or subscribe, please fill out the section below. God bless you and your family.

References:

• What Does the Bible Say About Unforgiveness? (openbible.info)
• Ephesians 4:26-32 ESV – Be angry and do not sin; do not let the – Bible Gateway
• Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness – Mayo Clinic
• Matthew 6:14-15 NLT – “If you forgive those who sin against – Bible Gateway
• Romans 12:19 NIV – Do not take revenge, my dear friends, – Bible Gateway