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God often refers to His relationship with us as a marriage. He is the husband and we are the bride. It’s an incredibly intimate relationship.

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.

Isaiah 54:5 (ESV)

Therefore, it may be said that our relationship with our husband or wife is meant to be like our relationship with God. It is meant to show the world what real love is. I am not talking about a domestically violent relationship here.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish

Ephesians 5:25-27 (ESV)

Sadly, many marriages are rocky at times. Have we displayed anger, disappointment or frustration. Perhaps we’ve been judgemental, bitter, manipulative and down right self centred. Maybe we’ve whinged about him or her behind their back. Have we each taken turns to cause the other grief?

Consider carefully, has our marriage been like the Israelites with God? During their time in the wilderness they complained constantly. They were fickle and distracted by earthly things – never satisfied with all He did.

If we want to live a life transformed into the image of God, we must be willing to imitate Jesus and His selfless love.

Firstly, we must put God first, and choose our husband or wife before any other human relationship or thing. He or she is in reality our best friend, our most loyal support and our lover. When we married him or her, we became one. They deserve better.

Instead of anger and bitterness there must be love and forgiveness. Rather than controlling and spiteful behaviours, there needs to be trust and kindness. In place of frustration, patience and understanding. In lieu of duplicity, loyalty, faithfulness and honour.

It may seem an impossible task in the natural. However we have a supernatural God who promises to transform us. All we need to do is ask.

We may be concerned our husband or wife may not reciprocate. Perhaps we worry our needs won’t be met. Maybe we’ve had years or decades of warring with our spouse and we are holding onto hurts that have festered and grown thorny and impenetrable. We must ask God to help us to forgive and hand it all to Him. By forgiving others, we release them into the loving hands of the Father, for Him to do a good work in them. In return, we will receive freedom and peace as well as the ability to love again. It’s totally worth it!

When our heart is changed to love, rather than hate, to forgive, rather than be bitter, to trust, rather than doubt the dynamics of our relationship are transformed. They are sure to notice a change in us as we create a safe space for our spouse to risk loving us wholeheartedly too.

Remember that it doesn’t end here, with just us and our husband or wife. Our children will see how we love one another. The love demonstrated in our marriage is a legacy for our children and their husbands or wives. They in turn will copy the example we set.

Our friends and our neighbours will see how we love one another and they will want to have this for themselves as well. It’ll be an opening to discuss the greatest love of all, the love of God.

I hope you enjoyed this blog. I’d love to hear how you maintain a loving relationship with your husband or wife. You can subscribe and comment below. Alternatively, you can email me at Jesus4generations.com@gmail.com. God bless you!