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At times people say and do things that hurt us. Whether intentionally or unintentionally. They may be oblivious to the harm they have caused. We may feel crushed, insignificant and uncared for.

Our soul suffers an injury. Old wounds resurface as though they have been torn open again and strong emotions return with a ferocity that threatens to overwhelm us. We are left staring into the abyss of misery.

At these times it is easy to overreact and behave in harmful ways. Much to the detriment of ourselves and our relationships.

Why does this happen to us? It may be due to clinging on to previous trauma and anguish, this can turn into bitterness and even hatred.

Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers and overwhelms all transgressions [forgiving and overlooking another’s faults].

Proverbs 10:12 (AMP)

When we hold these old woes close to our heart, they twist our perception of what is happening here and now. We believe we are a victim. Suspicion reigns as we expect to be maligned or verbally attacked again. Solomon gave us wise instructions about what we allow into our hearts:

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips. 
Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.

Proverbs 4:23-26 (NIV)

If our heart is bitter, full of grief and rage, that is what will flow forth from our mouths and drive our actions. Alternatively, we might shrink in on ourselves and become insular, cutting ourselves off from the world, in fear of being harmed again.

Many of us have been hurt in the past. If we don’t deal with this it will become like a cancer in our lives, stealing our hopes, killing our potential and destroying our relationships.

The question is, how do we deal with this? Do we hit back, verbally or physically? Do we undermine our enemies by gossiping and speaking badly about them to anyone within earshot? Do we grasp for powerful positions to gain authority over these people and take our revenge?

No. We don’t act as the world acts. Our way is drastically different.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48 (NKJV)

This may seem impossible, however, it’s what Jesus told us to do. He also modelled forgiveness to us. We have been forgiven for much, we must also forgive. If we are struggling to let things go, we can hand our burdens to God and ask the Holy Spirit to comfort us. He can turn our heart of stone into a tender heart again. We can ask Him into the situation and fill us with compassion and a desire to forgive. He will show us how.

Often, we can work on a better relationship with the other person/persons involved. At other times this may not be possible. When we walk in forgiveness we gain freedom from the negative effects of holding onto grudges and thinking of revenge. We do our part to release ourselves and them from the consequences of unforgiveness, liberating us from a heavy burden and releasing them to God for Him to do a good work in their lives.

I hope you enjoyed today’s blog. I’d love to hear how God has transformed your anguish and hatred into joy. If you’d like to comment or subscribe, you can do so below. Alternatively, you can email me at admin@jesus4generations.com. God bless you and your family