When there is conflict and we feel we have been misrepresented. When we have tried to resolve the conflict to no avail. When we feel like we have been silenced and our pleas have fallen on deaf ears. What do we do?

Often we feel self-righteous. We may not clearly see our part in any dispute. Do we repay like with like and assassinate the other person’s character? Do we complain to all and sundry, trying to incite others to dislike them also? Do we act the victim in an effort to garner pity? Do we become bitter? This is what the bible says about defaming others:

He who conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.

Proverbs 10:18 NIV

We may judge the other person harshly and expect others to do the same. However, have you ever noticed that whenever we are in the wrong, we seek mercy and forgiveness not judgement? Jesus said:

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Matthew 7:1-2

At these times, it is crucial to invite the Holy Spirit into the situation. However, we may be experiencing such anguish that when we try to speak, what comes out of our mouths is incomprehensible. But that’s ok, as scripture says:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

Romans 8:26-27 NIV

When we are being cursed like this, we need to remember our true identity. Recently, when I was going through a particularly upsetting situation, I called out in desperation to the Lord for help and He dropped these words into my spirit:

Who’s your Daddy?

Immediately, I felt His loving presence, my spirit lifted and I let out a chuckle. Never forget we are sons and daughters of the most high God. He is our loving father and He is always with us:

… for he has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you

Hebrews 13:5 ESV

He will always help us. He is a faithful God. If God is for us who can be against us?

He will minister to us to quell the torrent of emotions. He will give us the gifts of peace, love and self-control. When we are calm, we can remind ourselves that this is not a battle against a human being, it is a spiritual battle.

As God tends to us, He may point out how we might have avoided the issue. Or, how our pride overtook compassion. He will help us to put our pride aside, guide us to forgive and also ask for forgiveness. He will help us to work towards mending the relationship as he did for me.

I hope this is encourages you. If you would like to subscribe or leave a comment, please fill out the section below. God bless you and your family.