As human beings we live, work and grow in communities. On occasion, we can be hurt by the words and or actions of others. Often when their intentions are quite the opposite.

Our perspective can become skewed. We tell ourselves stories of what happened and these stories tend to morph and change over time. We can end up believing these distorted stories nailing them into our conscious and subconscious mind with each retelling. We may hold onto hurts, real or imagined for decades. Sometimes, for long after the person who offended us has passed away.

I am not saying that shocking crimes and horrific abuses don’t happen. What I am saying is that if we hold onto these things tightly and go over them frequently, we change the structure of our brain, laying down strong neural pathways. They become our “go to”, our “norm” our habitual way of thinking. They become our narratives, our treasures stored up in our hearts and lead to unforgiveness which turns to bitterness.

As they change the way we think, stories of hurts and upsets from the past can drive current behaviour. They can become twisted testimonies of loss, betrayal and pain. Instead of speaking of the good things in our lives and the hope we have in Jesus, we can attest to the misery, death and destruction of relationships, hopes and promises.

Our words are powerful. What are we speaking over our lives? Are we sowing seeds of hope, light and a good future? Or are we ravaging our lives with our thoughts and our words? The bible says:

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21 NIV

So what do we do? Do we end up conforming to this world that urges us to cultivate bitterness and somehow get even? Or do we get deep into God’s word and nurture forgiveness that leads to peace? The bible says:

Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

When Jesus taught his disciples how to pray he included forgiveness, but there are stipulations. We are forgiven if we forgive others:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 ESV

Remarkable at the time, and even today, Jesus’ revolutionary teaching spoke on the importance of forgiveness. Responding to Peter’s question about how many times he must forgive his brother who sins against him, Jesus said we must forgive 70 x 7 times. Radically, Jesus also said:

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 5:44 NIV

When we have been deeply hurt it may seem unreasonable to forgive. According to this worlds standards, some things are unforgivable. Nevertheless, it is important to remind ourselves that we belong to a spiritual kingdom, far greater than the natural one we see here on Earth. God’s kingdom works by different rules:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:3-12

God loves all of us. If you are struggling to forgive, I urge you to pray for a heart of forgiveness. Your Father in heaven will hear you and help you. He is a good and faithful God and He will bring you peace, peace that surpasses all understanding.

I hope you enjoyed my blog. I would love to hear your testimony and if it helped you. Please respond below or email me at admin@jesus4generations.com